Transformative Insights: 10 Lessons from Therapy as an Autistic Woman
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Chapter 1: The Journey Begins
For nearly three years, therapy has been a transformative experience in my life, profoundly altering my personality and self-awareness. Without this journey, I may never have discovered my autism and ADHD. Therapy unlocked aspects of my identity that I had buried for years, providing me with valuable tools and insights for navigating life as a late-diagnosed autistic woman. Investing in my mental and emotional health was crucial in addressing the complexities of my diagnoses, especially given my internalized ableism. Here are the key lessons I’ve learned throughout this journey:
Section 1.1: Embracing Acceptance
One of the most liberating realizations was understanding that not everyone will appreciate me, and that’s perfectly fine. Growing up undiagnosed, I often pondered why many individuals seemed disinterested in forming connections with me. Despite my aversion to social gatherings, I longed for acceptance. In therapy, I examined my desire for approval and recognized that striving for universal likability often required me to mask my true self. The freedom that comes with accepting this truth has been incredibly uplifting.
Section 1.2: The Limits of Control
I also learned that I cannot dictate how others react to me. Raised by emotionally immature parents, I carried deep wounds from their dismissive responses to my interests and challenges. A particularly stinging moment was when my mother expressed a wish for my failure despite my achievements. Therapy helped me realize that while I cannot control others' reactions, I can control how I respond to their disrespect.
Chapter 2: Seeking Support
It's perfectly acceptable to ask for assistance. As the eldest child, I developed hyper-independence as a coping strategy, often leading to burnout. Through therapy, I discovered the importance of seeking help and that doing so does not diminish my self-worth. I now rely on support from my husband and family, allowing me to recharge.
The first video discusses common mistakes therapists make, emphasizing the importance of understanding client needs and dynamics in therapy.
Section 2.1: Bridging the Gap
I also realized that therapy alone cannot bridge the gap between my autistic needs and the neurotypical world. Initially, I hoped therapy would help me reconcile these differences, but I learned instead to articulate my needs and embrace my identity as an autistic woman. This newfound confidence has inspired me to share my experiences, including my writing on Medium.
The second video sheds light on lesser-known traits of autism in women, providing insights that resonate deeply with many late-diagnosed individuals.
Section 2.2: Reframing Anxiety
I used to view my anxiety as something to be managed, but therapy taught me to see it as my body’s way of signaling discomfort. My experiences with social anxiety served as crucial indicators of my neurodivergence, and accepting my identity has significantly alleviated this anxiety.
Section 2.3: Redefining Self-Worth
Through therapy, I came to understand that my productivity does not define my value. As someone who has always strived for achievement, I previously equated my worth with my output. However, I’ve learned that my identity as an autistic woman still allows me to be a good partner and parent, even if my contributions look different from societal norms.
Chapter 3: Embracing Authenticity
The term 'disabled' has often felt stigmatizing, but therapy helped me confront my internalized ableism. I learned that identifying as disabled does not equate to being lesser than others. My husband’s support has been pivotal in helping me embrace this part of my identity.
Section 3.2: Living Authentically
The most significant lesson I’ve gleaned from therapy is the importance of living authentically. For too long, I prioritized others’ expectations over my happiness. Letting go of these constraints has rekindled my interests and allowed me to express myself freely.
Section 3.3: A Late Diagnosis as a Blessing
Receiving my autism and ADHD diagnoses at 27 felt daunting, but I now view it as a blessing. I’m grateful to have discovered my neurodivergence at a time when I was still exploring my identity. Moving forward, I intend to embrace my differences and celebrate them.
In conclusion, I hope my experiences resonate with you. If you have insights or similar experiences, feel free to share. Your engagement means a lot to me, as I continue to write about the neurodivergent experience on Medium. Thank you for your support!
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