Chapter 1: The Case Against Doctor Visits

It's often suggested that when you're feeling under the weather or in need of a check-up, the best course of action is to avoid the doctor's office altogether. In fact, staying home and enduring your ailments might just be the better option. The last thing you want while feeling unwell is a doctor without a mask, fresh from their lunch, poking around at your lymph nodes.

Instead of seeking professional help, why not browse Google for medical research and studies on the obscure diseases that align with your symptoms? Websites like PubMed offer a chaotic collection of around 30 million citations and abstracts covering a wide array of medical topics.

The doctor’s visit often turns into an uncomfortable interrogation. Who wants to be grilled in 2023? Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter are far more suited for that kind of confrontation, even for the likes of Donald Trump or Pamela Anderson.

The waiting room of a medical office can feel like a prison sentence. You're likely to find yourself stuck in a crowded space, overhearing loud conversations from receptionists and their questionable phone mannerisms, while the TV blares above you. Surrounded by other anxious patients, you might find yourself anxiously scrolling through your phone, listening to an incessant chorus of coughs.

Even if your wait isn't long, the experience of being escorted down a seemingly endless hallway to the doctor’s office can be daunting. You enter a space that may look clean but is likely teeming with germs. If you're lucky, a family member or friend is with you, and you might engage in a hushed debate about your imminent consultation.

When the doctor finally enters, it’s usually at the most inopportune moment. After being subjected to what feels like a trial by fire, you might find your nerves fraying. The doctor, in a show of misplaced humor, might take your blood pressure one last time, only to have it come back elevated. Suddenly, you’re labeled as hypertensive, a diagnosis that will follow you through your medical journey, regardless of your otherwise pristine health, as tracked by your Fitbit.

Instead of enduring this ordeal, consider sending a saliva sample to a service like 23andMe and waiting for your health results. By the time they arrive, you might either be grappling with a serious illness or simply bored out of your mind.

But at least you sidestepped a visit to the clinic.

The first video discusses whether doctors should compromise their own health for their patients' sake, presenting various viewpoints on this critical issue.

In the second video, the speaker shares their personal experiences and reasons for avoiding doctors altogether, providing a humorous yet insightful perspective.

Chapter 2: Life’s Little Annoyances

Brand art by David Todd McCarty