Section 1.1 Fostering Self-Worth Beyond Academics

Parents often harbor aspirations for their children to excel, which can lead to an overwhelming focus on academic success. For instance, if a child ranks third in an exam, rather than receiving praise, they are questioned about who placed first and second. Even if they achieve the top spot, the inquiry continues: "What is your class ranking?"

When parents use academic performance as the sole yardstick for their child's worth, children may internalize the belief that parental love is conditional upon their grades. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, making them feel that their parents only value them when they excel academically.

This phenomenon is echoed in psychology as the "over-limit effect," where excessive pressure can result in impatience and rebellion. Under such strain, children may develop mental health issues. Tagore once said, "Let my love, like sunlight, surround you and yet give you illumined freedom." A nurturing family environment is vital for children to feel loved and develop a healthy self-image.

The first video, "5 Secrets to Raise Mentally STRONG Kids," provides practical insights for parents aiming to build emotional resilience in their children.

Section 1.2 Avoiding Overprotection in Parenting

During consultations, some parents exhibit a tendency to manage every aspect of their child's life. For example, they may dictate how a child's feet should be positioned or even control their clothing and hydration. Such behaviors extend into daily life, where a refusal to drink milk might provoke statements like, "If you don't drink the milk I bought, you don't deserve my love."

Fathers may similarly impose their decisions on their children, pushing them into activities they dislike, stifling their social interactions, and ultimately undermining their ability to make choices. When children's opinions are met with ridicule, they learn to suppress their feelings and comply, leading to chronic stress that hinders their coping abilities.

Professor Xu Kaiwen from Peking University describes this as "hollow heart disease," where even successful adults experience profound emptiness and a lack of joy.

Section 1.3 Acknowledging and Validating Emotions

As social beings, humans often confront stress and negative emotions. Parents play a crucial role as "emotional containers," providing a safe space for children to express their feelings. However, many children find their emotions dismissed or judged, leading to emotional suppression. Comments like, "What do you have to be anxious about?" only serve to alienate children from their parents.

Additionally, some parents may inadvertently undermine their children's interests. When children share experiences, such as enjoying a movie, they might be met with criticism, which can lead to emotional isolation. This discourages them from seeking connection, resulting in a gradual detachment from their parents.

Over time, parents may find themselves wondering why their child has become indifferent. The roots of such behavior often trace back to past interactions and unaddressed emotional needs.