Chapter 1: The Weight of Perception

The pressure to conform to societal standards can be overwhelming, especially for women. Just yesterday, a colleague lamented, "I'm so fat." While her comment wasn't shocking, my reaction was genuine confusion. I asked her, "Where exactly do you see this fat?" She was a size 2, yet she pointed to her lower belly, exclaiming, "Right here!"

I responded, "That's your uterus." To which she replied, "Who needs a uterus anyway?" We shared a laugh, but it transported me back to my school days. Friends would fret over nonexistent imperfections, skipping desserts and meals before significant events, all in the name of attracting the opposite sex.

For many of us, the focus wasn’t on health or strength, but rather on the singular anxiety: What if he doesn't find me attractive? This concern often continues into adulthood and could last a lifetime.

Throughout my life, I've never been classified as particularly skinny, except for a carefree year in college when food was the last thing on my mind. I've also never been excessively overweight, aside from a challenging period in high school when I emotionally ate my way through life. Most of my life, I've hovered around a size 6—just enough to manage minor insecurities like underarm fat or a less-than-perfect tummy.

Even at my lightest, I found myself complaining about wanting to lose a few extra kilos. I’d scrutinize my thighs, wishing they were slimmer, or lament the stubborn double chin that only appeared during certain times of the month.

Despite being an average girl, I've internalized so many comments about my body that satisfaction feels unattainable. When will this obsession with weight finally fade?

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Chapter 2: Breaking Free from the Cycle

I’m exhausted from the endless cycle of weight loss plans that start on a Monday, squeezing in two workouts a day while juggling work, and feeling guilty over the occasional muffin. I simply can't do it anymore.

I’m done with scrutinizing my reflection to find flaws, adjusting my posture in the car to avoid looking heavy, and aiming for an arbitrary weight goal only to have someone remark, "You've become too skinny."

Here’s my declaration: today, I refuse to stress about losing a single kilogram. Instead, I’ll immerse myself in a good book and wear the dress I love, even if it accentuates my tummy a bit. No more checking social media to see if my hairstyle makes me look heavier.

It’s all so pointless, isn’t it? If you’re genuinely unhappy with your appearance, then make healthier choices and enjoy a treat with a friend, but don’t let insecurity dictate your plans.

How absurd is it to stay home because you can’t find an outfit you feel good in? Yet, I know I’ve done this repeatedly, as have many of my friends. We need to shift our focus away from our bodies and embrace living fully. Exercise in the morning if that helps, but then let it go. Nourish your body, and stop the relentless obsession.

We may never achieve complete satisfaction with our appearance. Even icons like Marilyn Monroe and Beyoncé have expressed insecurities. Barbie was supposed to teach us a lesson about unrealistic standards. Remember, even someone as glamorous as Margot Robbie doesn’t wake up every day feeling flawless.

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Take care of yourself, but don’t forget to savor life. You don’t want to look back at 50 and regret missing out on moments with friends because you didn’t feel attractive. Life is too short for that.

Embrace your imperfections and truly live.

With love,

K

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