Chapter 1: Understanding Personal Choices

"My life is mine to live, and it doesn’t need to conform to anyone else's standards."

Credit: Palu Malerba

There is a subtle yet pervasive notion that pressures those who opt out of traditional paths, such as parenthood or marriage, to justify their choices. This pressure often manifests as intrusive inquiries from those around us, demanding explanations about how we fill our time in ways that align with societal norms.

“Why don’t you want kids? What do you do with your spare time?”

“You’re not interested in marriage? That seems illogical!”

“You’ll regret not finding a partner as you age.”

“Don’t you ever feel lonely?”

It appears we are expected to justify any time spent away from relationships, as if our personal happiness is somehow less valid. I reject that notion. These probing questions imply that my existence lacks the richness and significance of those who thrive in the chaos of family life, despite the toll it may take on their well-being.

No one ever expects a parent or spouse to rationalize their life choices! It’s assumed they are living a dream that has been ingrained in them since childhood. So why am I subjected to such scrutiny? Are you genuinely curious about how I spend my days, or are you struggling to comprehend how I can find contentment in a life filled predominantly with my own thoughts and creative pursuits?

There is this idea that a busy life somehow compensates for the joy derived from nurturing and caring for others. Yet, my days can be quiet and mundane, and that simplicity works for me—at least for now. Should my situation become unsatisfactory, I possess the freedom and resources to make changes, unbound by the need to cater to others' expectations.

I am an adult woman. In discussing my life, I do not seek validation or approval, nor do I care what others think—most people aren’t equipped to challenge their own beliefs or choices.

My life doesn’t need to resonate with anyone but me. After all, I am the one living it.

Why does it concern you how I choose to use my leisure time? Why are your children relegated to mere hobbies in your life? That’s a question I would love to explore. But given that your decision to have children was likely influenced by societal pressures rather than a genuine desire to nurture, any question I pose will be met with defensiveness—the same defensiveness I’m denied due to the perceived inferiority of my lifestyle.

Those who choose to live outside conventional norms do not have imaginary voids in their lives that must be filled with family or partnership. Instead, they often engage with their time creatively and meaningfully—something most are too exhausted or overwhelmed to even consider.

People like me, however, are permitted to enjoy simple pleasures: watching TV, lounging, cuddling pets, napping, preparing meals, or simply existing in tranquility. We allow ourselves the luxury of stillness and deep breaths, and even the occasional afternoon dedicated to daydreaming. We’ve cultivated an environment of peace that invites such introspection.

If we decide to pursue passions like careers or hobbies, that’s our prerogative. But do we owe an explanation to societal critics? Absolutely not.

So let’s stop worrying about the imagined deficiencies in our lives. We don’t possess any.

Chapter 2: Redefining Fulfillment

This video explores practical woodworking techniques that can enhance your DIY projects, emphasizing how such skills can lead to personal fulfillment and creativity.

In this thought-provoking discussion, Robert Sapolsky delves into the concept of determinism and the implications of living without the notion of free will, prompting viewers to reconsider their life choices and personal freedom.

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