Chapter 1: The Power of Memory

When I stumbled upon a particular quote, I was taken aback. It has held a place on my desk for the past five years, serving as a constant reminder that our present and future are shaped by our current beliefs. This realization pushed me to examine my own beliefs, particularly those that held me back. Although I found value in these exercises, I felt there was still something missing, prompting me to embark on a deeper exploration.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.”

— Gandhi

My journey wasn't entirely novel; I had read extensively about the idea of rewriting our past to empower our present and future. Yet, simply altering my past felt inadequate. It seemed like denying my history, my family, and my entire life. I refused to accept that I was living a lie. Thus, I continued my search.

I learned that our beliefs are heavily influenced by our experiences, and that we cherish only certain moments, which we label as memories. These memories are formed when we attach emotions to events. The emotional connection—whether positive or negative—is what compels our brains to categorize an event as a memory.

I extended this thought:

Your feelings become your memories,

Your memories become your experiences,

Your experiences become your beliefs.

This insight resonated deeply! If our emotions from past experiences shape our beliefs and ultimately our futures, does that mean we are bound to a predetermined path?

I felt adrift until I discovered a technique called memory flipping, which I decided to explore. While the training encompasses various details, the fundamental steps are as follows:

1. Identify a core memory linked to a limiting belief or habit. For instance, you might associate a comforting meal with love, like pasta made by your mother, or equate watching TV with eating popcorn.
2. Revisit that memory in vivid detail—recall the location, time, people present, words exchanged, colors, and smells.
3. Shift into a high-energy emotional state, such as joy, gratitude, or bliss.
4. Alter a detail of the memory, like swapping the pasta for a salad or changing the dialogue, gradually reshaping it.
5. To solidify this new memory, replay it 10 times over 10 days—aim for 100 repetitions to make it feel real.

This transformative process can flip emotional triggers and neural connections, allowing you to experience heightened positivity and joy whenever you reflect on that memory. Importantly, the original memory remains intact; it’s not erased but rather recontextualized.

If you have a moment, let me share a personal experience involving a flipped memory.

As time passed, I realized my aspirations were diminishing; I was settling for less and procrastinating. My coach advised me to revisit significant achievements that reminded me of my capabilities. This led me to recollect my triumph of gaining university admission—a dream I had harbored since my teenage years, having studied independently for three years.

However, upon reflecting on that moment, I recognized that I hadn’t truly celebrated my success. Afterward, I realized I had felt emotionally numb during various achievements: starting my first job, being promoted multiple times, buying a car, and losing weight after childbirth. Each accomplishment felt merely "okay."

The first step—identifying a core memory—was complete.

In step two, I relived that pivotal moment.

Photo by Hert Niks from Pexels

It was mid-July when I was working at our family shop in a bustling tourist area. A friend called with the news of my acceptance. I felt elated and thanked her wholeheartedly, but the shop was busy with customers who didn’t speak my language, so I quickly switched back to work mode.

After attending to everyone, I rushed outside to share my joy, only to find the alley packed with tourists. I returned to the shop, called my sister and mother, who congratulated me but were too busy to celebrate properly.

By the time night fell, my excitement had waned, replaced by anxiety about moving to a big city alone. My family, caught up in their own preparations, hadn’t expected my success, leading to an uncelebrated moment.

Thus, the pattern continued: my achievements were met with handshakes and a swift return to work, devoid of celebration or joy.

Now, how have I flipped this memory?

When I received the news, I now envision myself joyfully announcing, “I got into university! Grab something from the shop as a gift and let’s celebrate!” We would step outside together, shouting “Congratulations!” and eventually joining a crowd in the square, right under the fireworks that commemorate a historic eruption on our island.

Photo by Jonas Von Werne from Pexels

I now strive to incorporate celebration into all my achievements, and this experience has been a significant starting point!