Chapter 1: Understanding Perfectionism

As someone who has battled perfectionism, I believe it’s time we give ourselves a break!

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

Recently, I stumbled upon an article on Medium that wasn’t flawless. My inner perfectionist started to rear its head, but instead of critiquing the author’s flaws, I considered that English might not be their first language—and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Imagine the freedom of creating without the constant pressure to make everything perfect! I remember spending the last two nights writing articles I couldn’t publish because they didn’t meet my impossible standards. While excellence is a worthy goal, striving for perfection can often hinder our ability to reach it.

Despite the imperfections in that article, the core message resonated with me. The points made were insightful and meaningful. I noticed that no one in the comments criticized the content, but rather acknowledged the bravery it took for the writer to share their work. It’s a testament to the supportive community on Medium that encourages growth and improvement.

As a perfectionist myself, I’ve produced numerous articles filled with mistakes, even after multiple revisions. The frustration of investing hours into a piece only to have someone highlight a minor error is disheartening. In my early writing days, I often thought, “I must not be a good writer. Real writers don’t make mistakes.” But do they?

After all, writers are human, and writing is a form of art. Art is inherently imperfect—it's a channel for expressing deep emotions and beauty. Instead of fixating on grammatical issues, why not focus on providing constructive feedback, especially after a piece has been published?

I once published an article where my friends could only point out a few typos. What about the narrative structure? What about the underlying themes? I felt let down that my friends missed the opportunity to discuss the more profound aspects of my work, instead choosing to scrutinize minor errors.

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For those perfectionists reading this, I understand the annoyance that comes with spotting errors. I know that when you correct a mistake, it's not meant to come off as rude. Your perfectionism can be a double-edged sword, causing you to judge others as harshly as you judge yourself.

But remember, it’s okay to cut yourself some slack! You are human, and if you allow it, others will exploit your insecurities about your work.

In the past, when a friend sent me a screenshot highlighting a simple error in my writing, I chose to respond differently. I told him it wasn’t a big deal and asked for his overall thoughts on the article. That was the last time I received such trivial critiques.

By intentionally focusing on what others do well, you can foster an environment of understanding and compassion. This shift in perspective might help you break free from the constraints of perfectionism and rediscover the joy of creativity.

In conclusion, while I don’t advocate for ignoring grammatical errors, I believe a piece of art shouldn’t be dismissed due to imperfections. What are your thoughts on this? Have you faced challenges with constructive criticism or struggled with perfectionism?

Let’s keep the conversation alive! I’m Bianca Foxx, and I write to inspire, connect, and uplift. Did you enjoy this article? You can support my writing journey by buying me a cup of coffee—it truly keeps me going! Thank you!

Chapter 2: The Impact of Perfectionism on Relationships

The first video, "2 Types Of Perfectionism That Sabotage Your Relationships," explores how perfectionism can affect our connections with others, offering insights on managing these tendencies.

The second video, "NGL, I'm a recovering perfectionist," shares personal experiences and strategies for overcoming perfectionism, encouraging viewers to embrace their authentic selves.